... trying to think about nothing. It’s not easy though. When I close my eyes I always see the head of a one-horned, one-eyed giraffe and the more I try not to see it, the bigger it gets. Sometimes it bellows ‘I am an expert knitter’ in the voice of Winston Churchill, but still I fight it. I try to imagine putting a pure white pillowcase over its head and focusing on that, but the giraffe shakes its head wildly and its one horn rips through the cotton before the pillowcase flies off (along with its eye patch) and the now frenzied beast opens its pink dribbling jaws and fixes its bloodshot eye on me. Hang on. Why don’t I cut its head off once the pillowcase is in place? Yes, I’ll try that next time. Oh well, another drink over and another problem resolved.
