... about what I'll do with all my winnings. Very soon I expect to win nine point three million on the lottery. What a dilemma. I have decided not to tell anyone about my good fortune - instead hiding four million in a Swiss bank account - and anonymously donating the remainder to the Donkey Sanctuary in Devon, which is a very worthwhile cause. I will then go about my life as if nothing has changed - but in ten years time will fake my own death and reveal in my will that I preferred donkeys to family. This will annoy them greatly, but they will try not to show it. I shall then enjoy my remaining money on a remote island in the Bahamas. But before all that I suppose I'd better start doing the lottery. Oh well, another drink over and another problem resolved.
